Helen

by Marlene Thomas, Haven director

 

 

I recently received a call from a mother who had gone through the Family Center.  Helen arrived at the Center a year ago on Christmas Eve.  She had three children with her: a son, age 8; a daughter, age 6; and her youngest, another son, age 4.  They arrived at the shelter with just the clothes they were wearing.  It had been two days since she had last used drugs.

 

Her first few days here, Helen was quiet, kept to herself and tried to focus on her children.  Within several days it became apparent to Helen that she needed to make a decision concerning her oldest son.  He was having a very difficult time adjusting; he was angry and aggressive.  Helen had a lot of issues that were going to require her attention and strength.  She was going to need a lot of support.   Family members in Southern California had offered to take her son until she could “get it together.”   Helen wanted to keep her family together, but she let her son go.

 

Within the next sixty days of Helen’s stay, she enrolled her daughter in school and her youngest son into the Haven.  She worked on her parenting skills and was determined in her recovery, attending substance abuse meetings up to three times a day.   I can remember literally picking her up off the floor when times got too hard to face.

 

But Helen is strong and she worked hard, knowing she would someday have her family together again.  Helen went through our Faith Based program and eventually went into the shared housing program.  While in the shared housing program, Helen was able to regain custody of her oldest son.   She found a job and continued to emotionally and physically support her children, getting them to and from school, enrolling them in outside activities and spending quality time with all of them.

 

Last October, Helen moved from our shared housing program into independent housing in Rohnert Park.  She came by to say good-bye.  I wished her luck and told her to stay in touch.  I hadn’t heard from her since, until last Wednesday.

 

Helen sounded upbeat with a positive attitude.  She told me she and the kids were doing great; they were attending school and had made friends in the neighborhood.  She was going back to school full-time herself to learn computers, her children were going to Bible Study each week, and she walks approximately 1 ½ miles each morning after dropping the children off at school.

 

“I just wanted to hear your voice,” she said to me.  “If it wasn’t for you and COTS I wouldn’t be where I am today.  I have had the best Christmas I ever had and it’s not because of ‘things’ we got.  I have my children, we have a place to live and it’s the first clean and sober Christmas I have had in 4 years! “

 

“Wonderful, Helen.  You worked hard for this.” I said.

 

“So did you.  Thank you.” She replied.